Vintage Communication Enthusiast Gifts

"Nothing important—nothing on fax, nothing on voice mail, nothing on the Internet. Just, you know, handwritten stuff."

Man in the Post Office.

'Did you hear they fired Jake? He was caught using e-mail.'

'It's your mother.'

'Why do they always call right in the middle of dinner?'

Old lady mobile.

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"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

Before social media there was sticky notes.

The Love Psychologists

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

'I was just ringing to see if you'd got the email about my letter.'

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

Technological advances within the office.

Relationship Issues.

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

The Final Chapter.

How to engage an audience

"We don't talk."

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

How it feels to be in a company with poor communication.

'He says he needs his own space.'