Retro Communication Enthusiast Gifts

'See kids? This is a LETTER. A LETTER. Back when I was a kid, people would send these all the time. There was no such thing as e-mail.'

Ow, my finger is really sore. Stop. How about yours? Over.

Before social media there was sticky notes.

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

Hello, Rolf? This is Cecily. I was going to break up with you either on Twitter or Facebook, but my girlfriends told me I should be brave enough and do it the old-fashioned: over the telephone. ! !

He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.

Did you stick your tongue out? Only to lick a stamp!

Don't you think that we raised the telephone charges little too much?

"You say I need to start using a slower speed?"

"Don't bother talking to your grandfather. He's unplugged himself."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

This Message Has No Content

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

She - Interpreter - He.

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Early on-line shopping

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

The Love Psychologists

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"