Analogue Systems Gifts

VINYL HISS

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

Fear and Loathing in Hi-Fi Land.

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

Books and Phones

Books*. *Batteries not included.

"Turn down the bass."

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

'My bike is so loud I couldn't hear my tunes.'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

Compact Disc: "01011100110001011011010001111...."

"It's another one of our neighbors calling to complain. I think your sound bar may be working a little too well."

"Hey Cruz, check out my super-powered speaker system!"

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

"Actually write thank-you notes to my best customers with a pen and paper? But I wouldn't have spell check!"

Sundial Watch

"I can remember when all we needed was someone who could carve and someone who could sew."

'I have no idea what makes that guy tick.'

surround sound like crickets chirping everywhere

All the kids are doing this "distant messaging" thing I don't understand. Boom bamba bambam.

Raft of the Luddites

"I blame GPS for making me forget the ancient art of map folding!"

"I've had it with technology - from now on, I'm sticking with the TV and radio."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

Heavy metal fan enjoys his PC's sound system.