Analog Collector Gifts

'I'm transferring all my wax cylinders to 78's.'

Jazz is Invented

I.T. Fear

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Six jazz instruments.

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

First and last day as census taker...

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

Dueling Banjos two Banjos about to shoot it out in a Duel.

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

Fizz Wipple's All Stars - (except for the second trumpet and the drummer)

'But Miss, I've only just got the hang of 'the little hand' and 'the big hand'...'

String Quartet Vending Machine

'This job would be much easier if you didn't play the flute!'

"Do you know how to play down the road?"

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

"I wish I could just focus on the future and quit revisiting the past."

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

Parts of a Bagpipe

'It was great! I learned how to use dial phones, drive a standard transmission and cook without a microwave...'