Analog Appreciator Gifts

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Sorry, grandpa, but wiggling the antenna won't restore your cable and Internet."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

"My kid could do that."

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

2 Ohm and 4 Ohm Amps,

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"I don't care if you whistle while you work, but others find it disconcerting."

'But Miss, I've only just got the hang of 'the little hand' and 'the big hand'...'

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

Non-Digital Content Delivery Devices

A toaster plays fetch

Perpetual Motion.

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

"In case of emergency, do you know how to work a pencil?"

Woman putting correction fluid on a computer screen

You'll see, Chet; sales will pick up as soon as this whole Internet fad blows over.'

"I prefer the texture of printed books."

"Life was a LOT easier before AI and the 'Internet of things'!"

"He's one of my favourites. You feed him milk and cookies and he gives you a present."

Subtitle: Woof.