Woofer Appreciator Gifts

Subtitle: Woof.

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

"The subwoofers really help."

Men dancing

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

2 Ohm and 4 Ohm Amps,

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"There goes that creepy music again...

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

Captain

On July 9th 1983, Andres Segovia inexplicably began Duck walking through the Adagio section of Bach's suite for guitar.

"I don't care if you whistle while you work, but others find it disconcerting."

Busker falls on deaf ears as everyone has personal stereo,

'-and she gets headaches every time the doorbell plays our tune.'

'I changed my status from LLC to LL Cool C.'

"Sorry, grandpa, but wiggling the antenna won't restore your cable and Internet."

'Sorry, too middle of the road.'

'The best part is when the band starts playing again.'

'I like your suit - just what I need when I ask my boss for a raise!'

"So far earplugs are the money maker."

"...and this is my better half...!"

"This next piece is dedicated to all of you walking by too busy to listen to it."

"School would be more exciting with a sound track."

'It's an interesting effect: I tend to walk faster when I'm listening to Rock & Roll...'

'In this empty room, he barks in high definition.'

Walter decided to tune a piano because he didn't know how to tune a fish

"I swear, it wasn't me who called the council about your incessant barking: it was my master!"

'What song is it you want to hear!'

"That's false advertising - I didn't see any string!"