Amusement Aficionado Gifts

"Guess your weight gain since you've been here"

Guess your weight-related illness.

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

This Summer, Come to...Parkway Playland!

"Maybe we should reschedule. It's bark-to-bark up here and Waze says it's forty minutes to the lazy river."

A subway to Coney Island.

Vintage Bumper Cars.

'You'll never guess who I bumped into today!'

'The wife came up with the idea, the Haunted House was dead in this heat, yeah its going down a storm.'

"That's a first. I got charged an entertainment tax for people watching."

Man hitchhiking at tunnel of love.

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Zombie standup

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Cat box"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Easter Island legs

Love at First Sight

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

The Fourth Little Pig

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish