Entertaining Aficionado Gifts

Delicate Hopsitality Abused.

'But we have company coming over. Don't you think we should break out the good china?'

'... and this is the library. We only use this room when our special friends visit. OK! Back to the kitchen.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Zombie standup

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Easter Island legs

Love at First Sight

"Cat box"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

The Fourth Little Pig

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"That's not how I sat on you."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."