American Football Humorist Gifts

Football players huddle and one has a really long name.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

The Hockey World

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Here we go again...'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions