Ambiguity Enthusiast Gifts

Grey area ahead.

'If you remove all the gray areas, you take all the fun out of the law.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Bigfoot"

Glance Exchange

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Valet park only"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Robber on treadmill

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"I like fountains very much!"

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

Nikolai Gogol

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

Man guarding a written border.

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Department of Belly Buttons - Innies/Outies Tray

"I wonder what odds you would have got for that happening?"

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

"I will not tolerate that language in this house. What is it,anyway - Latin?"