Ambiguity Lover Gifts

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

"Hard data just isn't doing it for me anymore. I crave ambiguity!"

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Extreme Sisyphus

Optimist

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

Zoo: No Hunting.

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"Moulting"

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

Scurile travels

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

The Oxford Comma Coin

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.