Uncertainty Admirer Gifts

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Reading my Critics

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Sunbathers.

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

Yoghurt man

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

Department of Belly Buttons - Innies/Outies Tray

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

Giant sandwich bags.

101 uses of a dead cat: rocking horse

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"