Amateur Locksmith Gifts

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Now what?'

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'I do have an extra set of keys, they're in the glovebox.'

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

'Could you throw me the car keys?'

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

'Next time you lose the school's keys, please call a locksmith instead of using a blow torch on the door.'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

'What do you mean you've misplace the keys?'

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

Welcome mat with large lumpy key under it.

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'