Amateur Armorer Gifts

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'Now what?'

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'Handyman's Special'

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

Super glue . . .

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

Knight Vision

Knight/Bird.

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

Poetry Knight

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

"He's always on message."

"Wearing this hot metal for 20 days straight is rough."

Weak Knights

Suit of armor. Sport coat of armor