Amateur Armorer Pillows

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

'Handyman's Special'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Super glue . . .

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

Knight Vision

Knight/Bird.

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Weak Knights

"I admire your devotion to duty."

Suit of armor. Sport coat of armor

"Wearing this hot metal for 20 days straight is rough."

"He's always on message."