Amateur Fixer Pillows

Valerie began to suspect that Brian hadn't laid a carpet before.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

Fixing the TV.

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"She does this when she's tired."

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

DIY.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Super glue . . .

Irritable dowel syndrome

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

Unfinished Furniture.

"Kick the machine"