Amateur Fixer-upper Pillows

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

Fixing the TV.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

The Upholstery Consultant

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

Well paid job

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."