Fixer-upper Enthusiast Pillows

"This is the grand ballroom. I think it has a lot of potential."

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

'Forget what it looks like now. Think of what it will look like after you've put 10 years of loving care and back-breaking labor into it.'

'Now the deeply-troubled expression, stroke your chin...good...'

Garage mechanics course, Introduction ,dealing with customers, "Now repeat after me - Oh dear, oh dear,oh dear"

'Our son wants us to cosign for his 2-story house. The first story is, it's got termites. The second is the roof leaks.'

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

'Your job is too big.'

"I do a lot of work on my house, but none of it rises to the level of home improvement."

"It used to be a half-way house. . ."

"Well, you did say that you were looking for a detached property."

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

The Upholstery Consultant

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

Well paid job

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.