Diy Fixer-upper Pillows

'It's up for adoption. Just pay to have it fixed.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

'There's a hole in the wall and that was the cheapest sign I could find.'

Sorry about that, I'll have it back on in a jiffy!

Wobbly bed.

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

The Upholstery Consultant

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Well paid job

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'