House Fixer-uppers Pillows

'Ideal for children - the play area is only a stone's throw away...'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"She does this when she's tired."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

DIY.

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"I can't find the instructions."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

The Upholstery Consultant

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

Super glue . . .

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

Irritable dowel syndrome

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'