Household Fixer Pillows

'How do you turn off the water if all of the handles are broken.'

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Lazy plumber.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

The Fuse

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"She does this when she's tired."

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

DIY.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"I can't find the instructions."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

'That'll be $50 plus $200 to repair the damage you made trying to fix it yourself.'

Super glue . . .

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."