Home Fix-it Hero Pillows

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

A holiday at home

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

'Quick, press control Z!'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

Lazy plumber.

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Bob’s Museum