Home Repair Hero Pillows

"My husband said he could fix anything so if you find him, tell him he was wrong!"

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

Lazy plumber.

'...And a free set of tools goes with it.'

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

'Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.'

"Lady, what's going on down there is an affront to the very idea of boilers."

'What do you mean, that'll be ?82 including V.A.T.? This is your house! '

Bob’s Museum

Plumber, Builder and Electrican tied up, man saying - '...But if I let them go, what happens next time we need work done on the house??'

"Granted, it needs a few repairs, but it should be a simple DIY-job..."

'Hi, honey... I'm Ohm!'

"...great having a neighbor handy with plumbing..."

"If this doesn't clear it, then you can call the plumber!"

'I can't stop the toilet from running. If I did, we'd be able to hear the dripping faucet.'

'Worst clogged sink I ever saw.'

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

'That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!'

'Don't fiddle with it, Ronaldo, you'll only make it worse.'

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

"Put these life jackets on and go to the higher part of the house. Daddy isgoing to try to fix our plumbing problem himself."

'No worries son, I'll manage with my saw until my hammer turns up.'

'I started to do all my electrical work myself after I hired an electrician who was colorblind.'

"I see you've had a go at mending the dripping tap."

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

'The toilet has quit running! Now it's doing jumping jacks!'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Hello, is that the plumber, yes he has tried to mend a dripping tap again."

"By the way, Honey, I finally fixed that slow bathtub drain you've been bugging me about!"

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Dear Householder...here is your free sample of Power Epoxy Glue."

"Thank goodness you're here! My husband is trying to fix it himself!"