Home Repair Expert Pillows

Bathing and Showering.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Ceiling Specialists

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'Well, that's fixed that.'

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

Lazy plumber.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Was it a fuse?"

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."