Home Repair Enthusiasts Pillows

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

'When he finally exhausts his vocabularly that's when I call the plumber.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

"Was it a fuse?"

"The blow drier is broken."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

Home maintenance

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

Broken since March

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'