Home Maintenance Enthusiasts Pillows

"You're going to clean the gutters? Wait! Let me first see if the emergency room takes reservations!"

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Man using to much bug spray

Yardless: Please help

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"The trees are laughing at us."

The household cavalry

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Timber preservation

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

"Was it a fuse?"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"The blow drier is broken."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

Product Testing Department

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

Living together, couple in love.

'I think my husband's DIYed and gone to heaven.'

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'