Home Maintenance Aficionado Pillows

'I don't know how I got rid of mildew before Henry got me the flamethrower.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Man using to much bug spray

Yardless: Please help

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

"The trees are laughing at us."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

The household cavalry

Your Home Remodel Team

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Timber preservation

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

Wallpapering with Nails

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"The blow drier is broken."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."