Home Improvement Aficionados Pillows

This apartment is 300 square feet but, with judicious use of sliding separating walls, it feels like 1200 square feet.

"Our new double glazing has almost paid for itself - the kids can't hear the ice cream van anymore."

'Two painters, one tall, one short, painting a wall.'

'You know, we've got to remove that trapdoor below the welcome mat someday.'

Damned Garage Door Openers.

Eric instantly regretted asking his builder for a quote

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I didn't spark joy."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"You're welcome."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"