Home Project Enthusiasts Pillows

"When he said he was using the lockdown as an opportunity to make something I thought he meant a coffee table."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I didn't spark joy."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"Was it a fuse?"

"The blow drier is broken."

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

Living together, couple in love.

House Painter gets stuck to the ceiling.