Home Improvement Buffs Pillows

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

Ironing contraption.

Nature also abhors a vacuum salesman.

"Here you can see the luxurious master bathroom."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"Mulch madness"

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Dummies Books.

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'