House Fixer-uppers T-Shirts

'Ideal for children - the play area is only a stone's throw away...'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"She does this when she's tired."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

DIY.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

The Upholstery Consultant

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

Super glue . . .

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

Irritable dowel syndrome

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'