Amateur Repairman Pillows

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

Fixing the TV.

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Tech support...can I help you!

"Frosty the Repairman"

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Was it a fuse?"

"The blow drier is broken."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

"You're late."

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'