Alternative Milks Gifts

"This is a clear violation of our civil rights."

Vegetarian Birds

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"You had me at alternative milk."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Swamp gas

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

Go Veggie...

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

Milk...Milk...Anything but MILK!!

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

"She runs directly on biofuel. No middle man."

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

"As vegan zombies, are we allowed to eat brains?"

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

New Milks

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

'I don't care if it IS Tofurkey...I am not eating that!'

'I want to take you home and throw out everything in your kitchen.'

"So much for going vegan."

"Just because that last guy you ate was a vegan, you can't say you're on a vegan diet!"

"I'm looking for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

Ill Advised Vegan Survey