Milk Alternative Explorer Gifts

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"You had me at alternative milk."

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

Macho Vegetarian

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

Nutritional Supplements.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"We've gone glutton-free."

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

'Poppy - I have no issue with you being a Bi-polar, celibate vegan. It's just that your Aura's the wrong colour.'

Bar None

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

"I know... everybody just assumes I'm a vegetarian."

"I'll have the vegan."

"This is a clear violation of our civil rights."

"We ought to give this diet a name."

"Nothing beats going abroad to discover new types of cheese: you have to try Camel Cheese!"

"Actually, kale is toxic."

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

'Uh... did you say you are on a lead diet?' 'Dude... it's all natural!'

"Are you sure this is gluten free?"