Lactose-free Explorer Gifts

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Where do you draw the line? Goat milk. Goat cheese. Goat ice cream.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"In space news, our discarded PPE is forming a new planet."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Fish Food

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

"We've gone glutton-free."

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'

'It's your own fault - you act like an absolute fool whenever he lets you off it.'

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

Bar None

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

'My wife's an ecology nut. What can you suggest that hasn't contributed to pollution at any time during its manufacture?'

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

'Poppy - I have no issue with you being a Bi-polar, celibate vegan. It's just that your Aura's the wrong colour.'

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

"I know... everybody just assumes I'm a vegetarian."

In the wake of tourism...