Lactose-free Enthusiast Gifts

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

'How do we know he's gluten-free?'

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

New Milks

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

"Sergio, just for you, I made this cake glucose free.... I don't know how to make glucose free."

Caffeine-Free Kickstart Vending Machine

'I'm lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, vegan and allergic to tomatoes...what have you got that's good?'

"I like a little insurance that he won't take breaks during his run. I'll give him a few seconds before I release the dogs."

"Cut down on plastics."

"Look on the bright side -- At least it's gluten-free."

Plastic is killing the sea

Decaffeinated section.

"Gluten free?"

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave - all of our other customers are lactose intolerant."

"In my dreams I still eat gluten..."

"With religion and politics off the table, the only thing left to argue about is gluten."