Lactose Enthusiast Gifts

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Too much sugar."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

Sweet surprise.

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

Chocs away.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

The Nihilist Deli.

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

I Bake. Deal with it.

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

"Ok, here's the problem right here. No candy."

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."

'She'll have a nasty sugar hangover tomorrow.'

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

"Hey google, find me research that says sugar is good for you."

Boy unwell from eating cake decorations

Lactose is Good. Lactose intolerance isn't something you protest against, Ernie.