Lactose Enthusiast T-Shirts

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Too much sugar."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

Sweet surprise.

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

Chocs away.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

The Nihilist Deli.

I Bake. Deal with it.

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

'She'll have a nasty sugar hangover tomorrow.'

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

"Ok, here's the problem right here. No candy."

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"Hey google, find me research that says sugar is good for you."

Boy unwell from eating cake decorations

Candy Corn Costume