Lactose-lovin' Buddy Gifts

I'm not lactose intolerant. In fact, some of my best friends are disaccharide sugars.

The Main Types of Cheese

The Nihilist Deli.

Working On Silly String Theory.

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

Hey Gus, I've managed to steal some crackers and some grapes too...

Lactose is Good. Lactose intolerance isn't something you protest against, Ernie.

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

Do you ever serve chocolate milk?

Country mansion full of dogs.

Lactose Intolerant Goldilocks

'It's the Night Before Christmas, and I drank lots of eggnog, and all through the house I've been puking.'

'I always thought I was lactose intolerant.'

"I told you dairy was bad for your diet!"

Cheese maker

'Milk, butter, cheese, ice cream...you have too much lactose tolerance.'

Dan was becoming increasingly lactose intolerant.

'You fight the Gluten Hordes, make your way through the Peanut Fields, battle the Lactose King...'

"Er, um, no thanks. We're both lactose intolerant."

"Most women I meet can't stand me. I've been thinking of having my lactose removed."