Lactose-free Explorer Pillows

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Where do you draw the line? Goat milk. Goat cheese. Goat ice cream.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

Nutritional Supplements.

"In space news, our discarded PPE is forming a new planet."

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Fish Food

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

"We've gone glutton-free."

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

'It's your own fault - you act like an absolute fool whenever he lets you off it.'

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

"I know... everybody just assumes I'm a vegetarian."

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

Bar None

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

'Poppy - I have no issue with you being a Bi-polar, celibate vegan. It's just that your Aura's the wrong colour.'

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

'My wife's an ecology nut. What can you suggest that hasn't contributed to pollution at any time during its manufacture?'

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

In the wake of tourism...