Non-alcoholic Explorer Pillows

'Non-alcoholic wines? Aisle 7, on the left - just keep shoveling dust 'til you hit them.'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Complaints Desk

California Beverages Map

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

Hold The Pickles

Come tell us what's there in the outer space.

Dutch Courage

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

"What the ... this is rootbeer."

"When you've seen one bottle of stout you've seen the lot."

Potato-ade - unleash the awesome power of the potato!

'Do you have any coffee?'

"Relax, man. The hallucinations aren't due to food poisoning. That's just the first course kicking in."

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

'It's Thanksgiving.. do you have any CRANBERRY VODKA?'

"I see a couple of chairs over there by the naked guy working on his laptop."

Kink

'They've set the bar too high!'

"Knock knock, are you decent?"

"I love the way you've put your outfit together."

'Well, Scofield, I guess that somehow I forgot to give you the impression that you're not alone. Even in a big, global company like ours.'

'Oh, if you're into alternate lifestyles, you're going to love where I'm sending you!'

Much needed pharmaceuticals I made in my home

"Oh dear, he died with his boots on."

"Hey, what is this stuff? It makes everything I think seem profound?"

Almond Milk, Coconut Milk, and Whole Milk.