Non-alcoholic Adventurer Pillows

"What the ... this is rootbeer."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

'I'm not sure my heart could take the excitement.'

Empty Nester Apple Picking - "Not THAT one, you idiot!"

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

Pub Kendo.

'Seriously, who ever heard of swimming with dolphin-friendly tuna?'

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

Man in a raft with a balloon animal.

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'For a moment there, I thought he was my kind of man, drinking doubles...'

Success often means distracting the competition.

'This horchata de chufas, it's very moreish you know.'

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

'This is the spot I was telling you about.'

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

'It's Thanksgiving.. do you have any CRANBERRY VODKA?'

"It's half price because we ran out of lemons and used crushed onions."

"I'll have one for the floor bartender..."

'Non-alcoholic wines? Aisle 7, on the left - just keep shoveling dust 'til you hit them.'

"I bet they filmed that here."

"Hey, what is this stuff? It makes everything I think seem profound?"

"Sometimes I think, why am I here? What's the point?"

"Have you been using herbal remedies again?"