Alcohol Explorer Pillows

"I drink to forget"

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Low-Energy Drinks

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

Wine taster with mineral water

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'Malty tasking.'

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

Fount of eternal youth/brewery.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

Complaints Desk

Wine of the Day Club

California Beverages Map

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"So much for that vintage!"

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

Anton's Bar and Grill

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

Ernie is a master brewer! He's highly skilled in every phase of the beer-making process! Business is booming at our craft beer pub! Ernie, are those ladies old enough to buy beer? I didn't ask for I.D. I didn't want to violate the no "dating" the customers policy. Ernie is an absolute genius about beer, but lacks common sense about everything else! (Published originally on Nov. 8, 2015.)

Real Beer People

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"