Non-alcoholic Explorer T-Shirts

'Non-alcoholic wines? Aisle 7, on the left - just keep shoveling dust 'til you hit them.'

"We card everyone. You're too old for a Shirley Temple."

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Complaints Desk

California Beverages Map

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'

Dutch Courage

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

Hold The Pickles

Come tell us what's there in the outer space.

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

"What the ... this is rootbeer."

Potato-ade - unleash the awesome power of the potato!

"When you've seen one bottle of stout you've seen the lot."

Why aren't you wearing a collar and on a leash? I don't mean to sit in judgment of alternative lifestyles, but personally, I find that a little bit kinky.

'Do you have any coffee?'

"Relax, man. The hallucinations aren't due to food poisoning. That's just the first course kicking in."

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

"I see a couple of chairs over there by the naked guy working on his laptop."

Kink

'It's Thanksgiving.. do you have any CRANBERRY VODKA?'

'They've set the bar too high!'

"I love the way you've put your outfit together."

"Knock knock, are you decent?"

"Hey, what is this stuff? It makes everything I think seem profound?"

Almond Milk, Coconut Milk, and Whole Milk.

'Fancy a game of strip poker?'

Much needed pharmaceuticals I made in my home