Non-alcoholic Drink Explorer T-Shirts

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Low-Energy Drinks

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

Complaints Desk

'New Barbeque.'

Wine of the Day Club

California Beverages Map

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Dutch Courage

Hold The Pickles

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

Grinds

"What the ... this is rootbeer."

the Lesser-known Nogs

Potato-ade - unleash the awesome power of the potato!

Cocktails and Beer

"Lager!"

"When you've seen one bottle of stout you've seen the lot."

'I'm seizing the day.'

Man sees energy drink go hopping by.

The Guy Who Invented An Alcohol Substitute

'Do you have any coffee?'

Aprés-ski, Aprés-curl, Aprés board

"This one's a blend of historical and contemporary botanicals."

'They've set the bar too high!'

'Non-alcoholic wines? Aisle 7, on the left - just keep shoveling dust 'til you hit them.'