Health Drink Explorer T-Shirts

"Is there carrot in this smoothie?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Complaints Desk

California Beverages Map

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Wine of the Day Club

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"Cardiac day patients?"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

A man's health care options.

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

"Ding dong bell, Pussy's into wellness."

Dutch Courage

"How passe, darling, everyone I know is re-toxing these days!"

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'