Diet Drink Explorer T-Shirts

Extra Light Beer

Before/After

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Complaints Desk

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Attack of the 'health' foods

California Beverages Map

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"We've gone glutton-free."

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

Dutch Courage

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"Ding dong bell, Pussy's into wellness."

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

"I know... everybody just assumes I'm a vegetarian."

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

'Where is the 'it won't immediately kill you' aisle?'

"When you've seen one bottle of stout you've seen the lot."