Health Drink Experimenter T-Shirts

"Honey, did you incorporate our entire home into one of your zany health smoothies."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

In case of emergency, break glass.

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

The Inexperienced Cook

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Complaints Desk

California Beverages Map

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Conversion of food products to petroleum substitutes - Conversion of petroleum products to food substitutes.

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Coffee

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

Drinking Hats

Trendy Drink

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

'It's a taste I think I can say I've acquired.'

"...You've only invented a flavour that consists entirely of adjectives."

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

"Put the oven on dear, I've picked us up a lovely leg of salmon."

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

Scientific Tea.

"I don't know if it was the peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich or the pickle milkshake I had for lunch!"