Health Drink Experimenter Pillows

"Honey, did you incorporate our entire home into one of your zany health smoothies."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

In case of emergency, break glass.

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

The Inexperienced Cook

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Complaints Desk

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

California Beverages Map

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

Conversion of food products to petroleum substitutes - Conversion of petroleum products to food substitutes.

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

Drinking Hats

"Put the oven on dear, I've picked us up a lovely leg of salmon."

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

Trendy Drink

"...You've only invented a flavour that consists entirely of adjectives."

'It's a taste I think I can say I've acquired.'

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

Scientific Tea.

"I don't know if it was the peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich or the pickle milkshake I had for lunch!"

'My wife is on a diet of bananas and coconuts, she hasn't lost any weight but you can sure climb trees!'