Health Food Explorer T-Shirts

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'

It Tastes So Bad It Must Be Good For You.

"Do we know what we're getting ourselves into with spelt?"

"We've been told to introduce a more varied diet....Do you want your peas with chips or without chips?"

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

'Where is the 'it won't immediately kill you' aisle?'

'I don't know what to eat. All this junk's so bad for you. Whatever happened to that health food trend?'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Surveillance Cameras In Use: Video Adds 10 Pounds - 40% Off Diet Supplements.

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

Vegetables

"I'm trying to eat healthy. Where do you keep the organic donuts?"

"Ding dong bell, Pussy's into wellness."

Before/After

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Is this still America?'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Pastrami in the wild

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'